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Burden of Belief

by Hugh Christopher Brown

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1.
Your arrogance prevents you from knowing how great you truly are And your conceit defeats the subtle magic of your heart So let the fawning minions come and worship from afar But God help anyone coming any closer You’re a genius and you know it and you prove it all the time So why can’t anyone come any closer? When you gonna come down and love? When you gonn stop acting so poor? When you gonna stop trying to be forgiven? When you gonna come down and love? Your bride sits in waiting while you contemplate your moves Patiently repeating every vow And the more she understands the more you claim she is your burden And now you say you want somebody else I guess everything’s a problem nd every problem roots itself In this slow earth you were never meant to walk on When you gonna come down and love?..... You can make an enemy of freedom Oh the cost of pretence is steep Better off to pursue perfection ‘cause it’s everywhere And it’s cheap And faith is known to the faithful And hope is raised by its own hand You jewel, you gem , you treasure your light is worth a million days Love is yours to give Now just get out of the way
2.
We love these hills and we love these trees I love you still same as you love me Love won’t let us slip Cracks me like a whip Quiet our hearts in fields where we walk Quiet our thoughts our tongues in a lock Hold on now don’t slip Let’s not loose the grip Quiet fire burning in my spine Fire must be fire all the time Some people ask the grass why it grows Then it only frustrates them to know Looking for relief From the burden of belief Same bird who came and sang in the spring His voice is strong now, come hear him sing The beating and the heart Till death do us part Spring in the heart, branches under feet Somewhere to start some words to repeat: “Hold on now don’t slip, Let’s not break the grip” I don’t know hwere from this soul is borrowed Only in trust we return tomorrow Night will still be black Through the rush and wait We’re both going back dog eared, loved and late
3.
Melting April snow Signs of Christmas in the compost Where did the winter go? I just remember almost It was hard Holding out for something you don’t know But it’s how I mean to love Watch the flowers grow From the seeds that we’d forgotten long ago That was dead and now it’s rotten It can’t be easy Keeping up with something you can’t see Now my friends call me slow, but I know they’re being pushed You know it’s hard Holding out for something you don’t know But it’s how I mean to love A kitchen radio A pencil and a headache The dream I wasn’t born The longing and the heartache Is it wrong to miss somebody that you never met? It’s how I mean to love/ or The closest I can get
4.
Superior 06:50
High on the Great lakes Big tanker holding in the bay See how the light breaks Dawning crown of fierce grey Bold faced Superior Over your shoulders fall the streams Now and again memory, Now and again tides now and again dreams Cast their reflection of my face upon your own Give me direction, I am thrashing on the stone ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^^^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Shattered by instinct, reason and doubt Love will never win It’s just the only way out ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Where are you going? What is this river that you’ve spoken? Ancient and knowing That the heart is better broken Bodies of water Exiles of years Seeking our level Returning our tears ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Shattered by instinct, reason and doubt Love will never win It’s just the only way out ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ The truth is burning And they’re ransoming the water The streets are full of tears An the future is full of martyrs Oh freedom, oh my great friend How I wish you could stay Whish we didn’t have to contend ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Shattered by instinct, reason and doubt Love will never win It’s just the only way out Northbound and capable of Superior love Northbound and capable of This Superior love
5.
You don’t like rock and roll? I think I understand Took a while to relax my style but here I stand When it’s all coming down There’s just no letting up Keeping on until You turn that dollar bill Into my paper cup don’t know why I defend myself it gets so complicated, man it gets so rough Between the dollar bill And the paper cup Money, swill, take your fill Let it fuck you up Sure, they’ll give you some But what you want it for? It’s a bribe it’s a bet It was third world debt Now it’s fourth world war Universal Dustbowl coming ‘round Displacing people Shutting borders down For those without a price Who know what life is worth Who paid the cost? Who prayed and lost connection to the earth? For every revolution A needle in the goove Asses your soul They put up a toll every time you move Universal Dustbowl Coming round Race you to the frontier To shut the border down My dependence My great depression My dependence My great depression
6.
Am I less the person than you thought I was? Keeper of the stories, reveller in the glories Of every good fight and noble cause Shielding our dependence, yielding such resentments When I was a school boy I used to love my tie Ain’t nothing like I love you now Autumn blowing change across the sky The sky’s still blue But something’s new Don’t even have a word for you and I Except my good instincts and all I might think And how proud I am of all you try Some part of me succeeds in each of your hopeful deeds Oh your anger pierced my careless heart Such a cold and deadly archer Like some angel who’d flown to say Love is no place to stay It’s just a point of departure This world is crueller than we thought it was Desperate cowards dark with power We didn’t meet as shelter from the storm Together we stood out and by the weather we were formed If you’re choosing to live for love You do exactly what it takes But how to hold yourself to some account? Most saints are outlaws But most outlaws are not saints Who could love opinion in this world? Or waste their time being believed? If you wrestle faith from your own grip Find yourself in love, willing to receive Don’t bring your broken promise home to me Its barbs will cut you, now they’ve scarred me too We’ve got to find some new way to be ‘cause I can’t give you half of what I want to.
7.
Serious Face 03:28
The city lights confounding Causing all the stars to fade This blackened heaven so ungrounding- Don’t mention it To these orphans of the infinite Who hide behind a serious face Watch them compete for gravity Where the fortune teller screams At the ruling of he dice These philosophies of schemes Jackpots of sacrifice Where is the star I steer by? How far was I from home? Captain your ship is held and tethered The sea is calm, and I grow lonely for the storm
8.
The Writer 05:04
How we both have grown And how the changes felt so slow Another season past And no one turned the hour glass In the sand it’s been as dry as years Couldn’t you at least have spared some tears? Afternoons are still In the kitchen with time to kill Have you learned my name? I take my pen and try again Compose a flower at the window pane With all the poison I have in my veins: Oleander You are the lover I am the writer When there was love to waste You kept your distance, you kept the pace What has got you now? You drag your heart heavy as a plough In the field you’ve sown A love affair’s yield And nothing grown, but Oleander You are heartbroken I am the lover The heaven’s course The starry wheel To know what changes You must remain still When love is laid to waste And poverty has broadened your taste A song in everything Prayers of patience tell me what to bring to my lover in the window
9.
The tilt of your head baby, the touch of your hand Your voice like a spell, it’s beyond my command The glow of your spirit so vast so wide I could watch from a distance But it’s better by your side There’s a swing in your step There’s grace in your heart I watch you move through the world Like a great work of art Something was over the moment we met I thought that I’d need it But I ain’t missed it yet Looking out at the night from the front seat of my truck The match kissed the candle and the flame it was struck In the infinite distance between we and the stars That infinite feeling let us know where we are And something was over he moment we met I thought that I’d need it but I ain’t missed it yet My big break was more of a crack I had too much to lose, there was no turning back And at the end of my dreams, my dreams all came true I found everything there and then I found you In a lifetime of trying too hard to forget But before you is a memory and I ain’t missed it yet Hold me so tight love, don’t let me go Just do me the favour of letting me know
10.
Living Proof 02:10
My father’s cheekbones rise behind my smile If you’d never met my brother, you’d know him from a mile One laugh from my sister you might recognize the style Living proof Between all I’m rom nd all I’m drawn to The deep magnetic darkness, and the light surrounding you Imperfections permanent but the perfect things are true Living proof Without you how could I pay the costs? All trials would be forfeit, all verdicts would be false My heart’s only evidence in all my labour’s loss Shame and pride What are you in the face of love? Stand aside Surely we know what time is made of A thousand reasons flying within view But from this angle I see only you We’ll take the love that’s offered us And live to see it through Living proof
11.
Seeker 02:57 video
Mine’s the lover of the dark and light Mine’s the keeper of the flame Mine, the seeker on an endless night Mine’s as merciful as rain Cast your fury to the wind She is not to be convinced But wears motion and a crown of tears For the moon, her quiet prince Humble these seething men of war Smash their altars and their wealth Teach them to bow down before A God more vulnerable than themselves Peace will not be still The stars are restless with compassion Oh my lover of an endless dream
12.
Dedications 04:08
True love The promised land Keep to your word The wilderness is at hand Abundant with the fruits of trust Expectations only pale Drop them now before the grail Of nothing more and nothing less I felt you leave from your first kiss You are who I’m here to miss Down below where tears are earned No one’s a fool whose heart is learned This is promised land Listen Water falling The constant calling Of life returning Being born through wars and burning The shame and scorn The violent delay They quote the scriptures while they slay The sainted moment, the holy day Listen for yourself I remember you, patient brave and true Never knew exactly what to do Light as light Day as day You as you and Me as me Mama The dreams I have Keep me drifting Running threads To catch my friends in love’s web The gentle pull, the quiet touch Felt by all who feel so much As roads divide, intentions fray But no one’s ever far away The dead become us every day The fountains take my coins away I wish for hope and gratitude Things that I can really use Here below where pain is so abused… Oh mamma Oh what dreams Light as light Day as day You as you and Me as me Miss you Very much I miss your voice I miss your touch The passion that flows between Thoughts of you and what it means To live for peace is not an accident See how innocence is spent I long for you now With embraces to consume The degradations that used to Make me scream till I was hoarse It took an echo for me to hear my voice But now I got it on the back of my teeth Whatever they say has died in me Was just the shadow of this moment backlit by a setting pride Just a magnet they can track you by And pull you in at the same time I realized I didn’t have to lie Was the moment I knew I had your love to answer for and to Light as light Day as day You as you and Me as me
13.
Persephone 02:23

about

Recorded on a 40's Wollensak mono reel to reel in the Brooklyn kitchen that housed and fed touring canadians for a decade.( The Cathouse aka president street aka Chris and Kate's place on President)
This album features Kate Fenner, Sarah Harmer Luther Wright and The Wrongs, Brendan Canning and Jason Collett (Broken Social Scene), Luke Ducette, and Don Kerr

Edited and completed by Lurch at Broadcast Lane, Toronto

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released May 8, 2023

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Hugh Christopher Brown Ontario

songwriter, organist and pianist, clavinetist, what-is- necessaryist, to translate loveist, HCB makes music on Wolfe Island, in New York City and many other places. Founder of the pros and cons program producing music in prisons.

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